Moments in Time
by little purple butterflies
Summary: This series is a collection of short and unrelated oneshots with a deeper look into character moments from a scene/episode. Details to spoilers and characters in the chapters. Chapter 4: The right decision. The decision what you do with your life is always yours.
1. Chapter 1: We're gonna continue

******_All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. As stated in the_**** summary this is a deeper look into a scene so I took the dialog from the episode. **  
Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah (1983Sarah) for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.

******_Spoilers for "Scared to Death", Hotch-centric_**

Hotch looked out of his offices' window that overlooked the bullpen area.

Even though his view was partially obscured by the closed blinds, he could see Morgan and Prentiss standing next to Reid's desk where the young agent was again reading the note that Gideon had left him.

They all seemed to be affected by the older agent's departure and Aaron couldn't really blame them. He had asked himself numerous times already why Jason had left all of a sudden, and more importantly, why he had done it without saying goodbye either.

The agent walked over to his desk and sat down before picking up a frame with a picture his son had made in it, which lay next to the file of a new case.

Another day, another case. Business as usual.

Only it wasn't.

His team wasn't complete anymore. A vital part was missing.

A knock at his door made him look up and, putting the picture down, he called, "Come in."

The door opened and section chief Strauss entered, coming to a stand halfway to the desk.

"How is everyone?"

Concern shone through in her voice and Hotch was mildly surprised by that.

Shaking his head slightly, he answered, "Adapting." This did come as close to describing the situation as possible.

"His resignation is official. Jason Gideon is no longer an agent of the Bureau," Strauss informed him.

Aaron was pretty sure he already knew the answer to the question he was about to ask, but he felt like he had to do it. "Is he going to guest-lecture?"

He looked up at her, still holding a little hope inside.

The section chief stepped up to his desk. "No, he's gone. His years of service are appreciated. We're looking for his replacement."

She handed him a stack of files that he placed on his desk while replying, "That was fast."

He couldn't quite keep some anger from sipping into his voice that he got at the feeling that Gideon already was forgotten by the higher ups. He knew this was the way a situation like that was handled, but he couldn't bring his heart to agree, having worked with Gideon for so long.

"The Bureau doesn't like to leave posts empty for long," Strauss reminded him and added, "I'd like your input."

Now that was a surprise. Not long ago this woman had tried to get rid of him; had put a mole in his team, had him suspended and suggested for him to put in a request for a transfer to a different department.

And now she wanted his opinion.

"I appreciate that," he said, and he meant it.

At that moment JJ pushed the door open and, after briefly looking at Strauss, she said, "Sir, we're gathering."

"Thank you," Aaron replied, got up and left the office.

Together the two agents walked over to the conference room.

The media liaison looked at him and asked, "Is everything all right?" The only answer she got was a pair of raised eyebrows.

JJ entered the room followed by her boss and started handing out the files. "Okay, we have four victims in Oregon. Two male and two female…"

"I got this," Hotch interrupted her after having walked halfway around the table to stand in front of the team.

The blonde agent stopped in her tracks for a moment, clearly confused. "Sure."

While Prentiss nodded once at their boss, Morgan gazed from JJ to Aaron, also puzzled by this, and Reid simply looked up curiously.

"I know that we've all been wondering what this was all about," Aaron began and lowered his gaze. "And, uh, you know, I've know Jason for many years and I can tell you-" he shifted his gaze to meet Spencer's eyes, knowing that the young man was searching for an answer just like he was, which made it even harder to admit, "I have no idea."

Reid averted his gaze at that statement while Hotch, this time looking from one agent to another to emphasize his point, continued, "But that doesn't even matter. What matters is we're here and we're gonna continue."

He hoped that this was enough to prevent the team from falling apart and to keep them focused on the job. But even he wasn't completely convinced by it.

Nonetheless, they had a case to solve and they needed to prove to themselves that they were capable of doing that without Gideon.

So he began after a brief pause, "Portland field office uncovered a mass grave with three bodies killed six months ago. Nearby they found another body. Causes of death range from burning alive to asphyxiation. No sexual assault."

Almost instantly his fellow agents focused on the task at hand and Hotch had never been more proud to be a part of this team.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you have some time please leave a review! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2: More than ever

******_All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. As stated in the_**** summary this is a deeper look into a scene so I took the dialog from the episode. **  
Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah (1983Sarah) for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.

******_Spoilers for "A higher power", Reid-centric_**

Reading the suicide note that was found at the latest victim's home, Reid entered the room that the team used for the conference room, where Prentiss was standing in front of a close-up of another letter.

His gaze still on the piece of paper inside the file he was holding, the young agent passed her and stated, "They all have the same type of tone; it's uncanny."

"And you're saying they all wrote these willingly?" Emily asked a bit skeptically.

Spencer put the file down on the table and turned around to face her.

"None of them are forced. But even here - " he stepped over to the board at the wall where copies of all the letters were hanging, and, pointing to one of them, he continued while his fellow agent walked around him, "In Curtis Fackler's, he-he never says goodbye. It's like they're not meant for anybody. Not for a wife, not for a kid."

Looking at her colleague questioningly, Prentiss wondered, "Then who are they writing them to?"

Reid started to shake his head, and then stopped as a thought occurred to him. "They're amends." After a brief pause he added, "To themselves. And I…I believe they're written as part of some programme." The last word came out a bit hesitantly.

This wasn't really a topic Spencer wanted to elaborate on. But it looked like he had no choice because now it was the other agent's turn to shake her head.

"Programme?"

She walked past the young man who turned around and explained, "Uh, the five stages of grief. In, uh, some self-help groups they ask you to write down an amends - " Reid deliberately lowered his gaze to avoid Emily's eyes so she couldn't look into them and read what was there. He continued in a lower voice, " - to yourself."

But he knew it was a futile attempt because she knew him too well to not pick up on it. The young profiler was proven right when the tone of Emily's voice changed and became softer. "Is that right?"

Spencer knew what was going on in his fellow agent's head. Despite the non-profiling rule concerning the other team members, they were all doing it to some extent. And he was sure that Prentiss had caught on to the fact that he had done some research on that matter.

The agent hadn't attended any self-help groups yet, but he was thinking about doing it because the cravings had been increasing ever since Ryan Philip had been killed right in front of him.

After a moment Reid forced himself to look her in the eye while she continued, "And all of these groups are anonymous, right?"

He simply nodded.

At that moment Detective Baleman entered the room and Spencer was glad not to be under Emily's scrutiny any longer.

"Did you get anything from the letter?" the cop asked.

While Spencer got himself a cup of coffee, Prentiss turned to the detective and answered, "We think that all the victims attended self-help groups." She walked over to the table and used the phone standing there to call Garcia.

"Speak and be heard by your goddess, mortal," the technical analyst greeted.

Smiling Emily said, "Garcia, we need you to search for self-help groups in this area."

Reid came back just as Penelope answered, "Well, just to give you an idea of what we're dealing with here, just for alcoholic support groups for tonight, Monday, there are 91 around Pittsburgh proper."

Having started to pace, the young agent nodded at that while the detective replied surprised, "You gotta be kidding me. That many?"

It was Spencer who answered, "They have different meetings all day and night. Different locations, different degrees of participations, of religiousness."

Again Prentiss was studying him, but the genius chose to ignore it this time and focused on Garcia telling them, "Okay, I've sent you a schedule of meetings for the major grief staples: Alcohol, drugs, depression and loss, all within a two-mile radius of Shadyside. There are 11."

While Emily walked over to the fax machine to pick up the list, Baleman asked the computer whiz, "Can we get a list of names?"

Before Garcia could answer, Reid said, "No."

The detective turned around to him. "Why not?"

"They're anonymous. That's how he's been getting away with it," the young profiler explained, sounding as if he stated the obvious. To him, he just had.

Sighing, his fellow agent said, "Let's gather the troops. We're going to need all the people you can spare."

The detective's face made it clear that he wasn't thrilled by that idea. "You got it."

Spencer didn't like it any better.

He couldn't stop thinking that all those people they would have to question were just like him; men and women with all kinds of problems who attended those meetings just because they were anonymous. They had found a place where no one would judge them and where they could talk about their problems and their addiction. And now he and his fellow agents were about to invade this place.

So Reid hoped, more than ever, that they would catch the UnSub before he would find another victim.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you have some time please leave a review! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3: Return the favor

******_All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. As stated in the_**** summary this is a deeper look into a scene so I took the dialog from the episode. **  
Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah (1983Sarah) for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.

******_Spoilers for "In Birth and Death", Reid-centric_**

"So what's around the dumpsite?" Reid heard Hotch asking Detective Wolynski. Sitting in a chair at the table in the middle of the room the young agent looked over to the two men that were standing in front of a board with the city's map on it.

They had found yet another victim and were no closer to finding the UnSub. Starting the case with only a three-man team with Section Chief Strauss as their temporary superior, the two profilers had quickly realized that with Prentiss and Hotch not on the team anymore, they weren't able to function like they did before.

And with Gideon still missing, Spencer's worry for his mentor distracted him from being able to completely focus on the case. So he was glad when Emily and Aaron joined them. And he had a feeling that Strauss was as well. It hadn't gone unnoticed by the young agent that the Section Chief was out of her league even though she wouldn't admit it.

So now the team was almost complete again and Reid was confident that they would crack the case.

"Here's the old printing press of Quad Graphics and the paving yard, and then the concrete factory where we found the body," the cop answered now, marking each of the locations on the map, "none of them visible from the highway."

Prentiss, who was sitting on the table next to Spencer's chair, remarked, "You don't end up there by accident." Everybody in the room turned toward her.

While walking over to the wooden piece of furniture with the detective following him, Hotch said, "So we go back to the schools. We eliminate the Third Ward, and we target problem kids whose fathers have held blue-collar jobs over the last ten years."

"What if he's no a problem kid?" Spencer asked, more to himself, looking at the table in thoughts.

After finding Claire Thompson dead and his boss telling him that he needed to focus on the case, he had gone over every detail of the case in his mind again and something had caught his attention.

"What?" Morgan replied, standing next to Aaron and leaning against the table.

Even though their youngest colleague couldn't help but notice the similarities to his own childhood, it went against precedent, so he said dismissively, "Forget it, it's off the textbook profile."

"What is it, Reid?" Hotch asked in an encouraging tone, seemingly glad that Spencer's mind was on the case now.

Looking up at his superior the other profiler explained, "Sometimes, when a - when a parent is unstable," his glance shifted over to Morgan, "especially if the other one's out of the picture…" Pausing for a moment he shook his head once, almost subconsciously, and looking at the table again, he continued, "You'll do anything to be the perfect child."

He was pretty sure that his fellow agents had caught on to the fact that he was talking about himself. Back then he had done anything in his power to cover up for his schizophrenic mother after his father had left them.

"Like help your father abduct woman?" Emily asked skeptically.

Turning his head toward her, Reid replied in his usual fast-talking way, "They're never late for school. Even with the abductions, the disposals of the bodies…" Looking ahead again the agent saw out of the corner of his eyes that Prentiss was glancing over at Hotch while he continued, "It's always timed perfectly so the kid will be on time to school." His gaze shifted to Emily again. "I don't think the killer would care, I think the kid would."

He had done at least all those years ago in an attempt to make everything appear normal, with the purpose to avoid questions from the people around him. And he was sure the UnSub's child would want that as well.

While Morgan and Wolynski still looked at him, Emily and Hotch exchanged glances. After a moment the senior agent pulled out his cell phone from the inner pocket of his jacket and left the room, presumably to call Garcia. Prentiss sat down next to Spencer and like Derek she prepped herself for giving the new profile to the schools' administration.

Reid hoped that they would find the UnSub before he could kill another woman. Though he knew that it meant that the kid would lose the only parent he had left. In a way he felt lucky that he hadn't had to grow up alone like the child would have to.

After having to send Diana to the sanatorium, he was grateful to have found a mentor in Gideon, who had become some kind of a surrogate father to him as well. Allowing his mind to wander a bit, he wondered if the older agent was indeed at his cabin like Hotch had suggested earlier. And he decided that as soon as they had solved the case and were back at Quantico he would drive there to check on him.

After all, the senior profiler had always been there for him. It was time to return the favor.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you have some time please leave a review! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4: The right decision

******_All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. As stated in the_**** summary this is a deeper look into a scene so I took the dialog from the episode. **

******_I wrote this for my dear friend and beta Sarah _********_(1983Sarah)_** as a birthday present and she agreed for me to post it. Special thanks to her for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.

******_Spoilers for "Natural Born Killer", Hotch-centric_**

"You wanna finish this?" Hotch got asked by Gideon.

He was leaning against a desk at the bullpen area with Elle next to him, Jason sitting on a chair to her right and Morgan next to Reid on the desk opposite to them. They had finally figured out the UnSub's weakness.

"Yeah," he answered shortly and got up.

Walking past his colleagues on his way to the interrogation room where Vincent Perotta was held, he heard Gideon saying to the rest of the team, "Keep working." They still had to find the missing ATF undercover agent.

While he went down the short hallway, Aaron centered himself before he opened the door to the room and entered. Perotta was sitting chained to one of the two chairs that were facing each other in the middle of the otherwise empty room.

Vincent looked up. "Hey, look who's here. My old friend. Feeling better?" he asked boastfully.

Recognizing this for what it was, a simple showing-off, the profiler remained silent. He closed the door before he walked over to the empty chair, putting his right hand on its back.

"Where's Jason?" the UnSub asked.

Still not answering Hotch sat down, his hands folded and his arms resting on his thighs, and leaned forward slightly. He looked the other man in the eye and after waiting a beat he said with a steady and calm voice, "You grew up in a house that looked normal and happy, didn't you, Vincent?"

"Did I?" No emotion could be detected in Perotta's reply.

So Hotch continued, "But your father beat you every chance he got."

Now Vincent broke eye contact briefly and then admitted, "He smacked me around some. Didn't everybody's old man?"

Aaron shook his head almost imperceptible and answered in a low voice, "No." Deep down though he had to agree as he thought back to his childhood when his father had abused him. His stoic face and his detached demeanor, sometimes mistaken for indifference, were nothing more than a protective wall that had been build in that time.

He could actually relate to the other man, but he knew he couldn't allow himself to think like this. He couldn't afford any emotions with their UnSub if he wanted to be successful, even though what Perotta now replied hit home. "Or maybe if yours had you would have learned to fight."

What Vincent didn't know was that the agent had learned to fight; he had fought not to become a man like his father had been, he had fought the evil. And knowing the statistics he had been afraid for some time that he would continue the circle with his son.

After a brief moment of silence he stated, "Paranoid personalities develop in childhood."

"You know you're saving me thousands of dollars in therapy bills?" Perotta asked, seemingly wanting to change the sensitive subject.

Hotch's answer was a small one-sided and humorless smile and he said in a softer voice, "And you learned to take the beatings, the abuse. You learned to smile."

At this Vincent was breaking eye contact again while the profiler continued, "But in the back of your mind you probably thought, 'One day… one day when I'm big enough'." After a moment he added, "So you were bullied and abused and you became an abuser and a bully. It's a logic progression."

Meeting the other man's glance Vincent showed no interest, which was backed up by his expressionless face. "Really?" he asked in a neural tone, before he shifted his gaze away again.

"Yeah," Hotch answered, and then paused before taking it one step further. "Your father beat your mother, too, didn't he?"

That changed the UnSub's behavior abruptly when he looked up sharply at the other man, and he wasn't that calm anymore when he replied, "My mother's got nothing to do with this."

Aaron kept silent briefly and Perotta averted his eyes again, so that the agent wouldn't be able to read in them.

Having the man now exactly where he wanted to, out of his calm and emotionless state, the profiler's voice was harder again when he said, "You're mother knew. She knew he beat you every day and she did nothing to help you… And you still loved her… Even though she let you get hurt, you loved her. And I wondered why, why didn't you hate her? Then of course I realized that he beat her as much as he beat you."

"Don't talk about my mother," Vincent warned with a slightly shaky voice, his gaze on the other man.

"You killed all these people," Hotch continued, referring to the photos that were put up on the board to the UnSub's right side, "Hundreds of them and only one woman."

Perotta had broken eye contact again and his lower lip was quivering slightly.

"That's what made you get sloppy, isn't it?" Aaron asked, though he didn't expect to get an answer. "Killing Mrs. DiMarco was hard." While Vincent closed his eyes presumably at the memories of that, the agent went on, "That's why you did it first and you made it quick." The UnSub opened his eyes but stayed silent and avoided Hotch's glance as the other man said, "I thought it was to establish dominance but it wasn't."

"He was a bastard, all right?" Perotta replied.

The profiler asked, "Your father?"

"I call him Frank. He was a mean son of a bitch. Is that what you wanna know?"

Hotch studied him for a moment until Vincent looked away. And for the first time the agent lowered his gaze as well, glancing at his folded hands. Despite knowing that everyone had a choice, or maybe because of it, he felt sympathy for the other man. "You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive, violent household… it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers."

The door behind the other man opened and Hotch got up to walk around the chair he had been sitting on. Three men clad in black came in, went over to Perotta and began to open the handcuffs. With his back to the UnSub, the profiler didn't see that Vincent's gaze was following him.

"Some people?" the man repeated inquiringly.

The agent turned around. "What's that?"

"You said, 'some people grow up to become killers'."

They locked eyes for a moment before Hotch looked away briefly, then back and nodded slightly. He knew that the UnSub had caught on to what he now added, "And some people grow up to catch them."

After another moment of silent eye contact Aaron turned around and left through the door he had come in, before walking down the hallway a few feet to gather himself and he took a deep breath.

Stopping he turned around partially and watched as the officers were leading Vincent out of the interrogation room. He and Perotta were walking in opposite directions again, like the two of them had done in life from the same start.

After a moment the UnSub turned his head around to Aaron briefly and for the first time there were emotions visible on his face, surprise being the most dominant one.

Then the men rounded a corner and were out of sight.

Hotch kept standing in the hallway a moment longer, wondering like so many times before what it would have taken for him to become a man like Vincent Perotta, before he walked away as well, drawing comfort from the fact that he had made the right decision.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! If you have some time please leave a review! Constructive criticism is always appreciated.**


End file.
